mic check.

I wanted a big, splashy opener for this epic blog I’m about to begin, but I couldn’t think of anything so I’m just going to start typing thoughts now. “Gee, I should really start a blog,” is an example of a recurring thought that’s been rattling around in the old brain for like, ever. It’s not that I think I’m particularly interesting or smart, and I don’t specialize in anything that would make me blog-worthy. But my dog is tired of listening to me always saying weird things out loud, and she suggested I find a new outlet to express myself. I’ve been ignoring her suggestion for months now (because it hurt my feelings), but the heart wants what it wants, and for some reason my heart wants to spew forth its observations about life, relationships with others, and what it means to be a human woman in 2012. If that fails, plan B is writing running commentary on episodes of The Bachelor, which you’ll have to take my word for it now but I would be awesome at.

I don’t really know where this will take me, but I’m hoping a million people start following me and I become an internet sensation and eventually get picked up as a writer for SNL. This may be my first step toward glory right here. Honestly though I’ll probably suck at this and lose interest after two weeks. But I’ve been fully committed to blogging away for three whole days now, and in my world that’s a pretty serious amount of time. Time to put a ring on it.

If you’re down for the ride, a small disclaimer: I am an expert on ZERO things, and I don’t much care for being held accountable for my words and/or actions, so please don’t take me too seriously. The goal here is twofold. Many therapists plus Oprah seem to think that journaling is a good way to deal with our day to day thoughts and feelings. Like many other twenty somethings, I am often consumed by the paralyzing fear that my life has amounted to nothing so far and that I will die alone and full of regret. So not true, of course, because I have lots of things to be thankful for and excited about. As an obsessively linear thinker, I like the idea of recording those things in chronological order, so that when the paralyzing fear comes back I can prove it wrong by siting my many adventures and accomplishments. Boo-yah, grandma. Reason #2 is the subtle promotion and documentation of my humble cupcake business that I unoriginally invented last summer in order to make car payments (mission not accomplished). This was before that show with Kat Dennings about being young and trying to hack it in New York City with your unlikely best friend or whatever. Is that still on???

Anyways buckle up, three people who might read this every once in a while, and get ready for a little bit of everything. And a lot of nothing, too, probably. Join me on my quest to write-bake my way through what three years ago would be considered an endearing quarter-life crisis, but which is now just an endless desert of very occasional forward momentum. On the bright side, if this is still my quarter life crisis, then I’m going to live to be at least 112 years old so joke’s on everybody else who already has their shit together. Do the math. Perhaps I’m genetically superior?? Time will tell.